happy thanksgiving

i cannot believe it's thanksgiving time...again. what happened to 2009? it's going by in such a blur. this thanksgiving is going to be a bit weird because my mom up and decides to visit family in memphis and won't be returning until before Christmas! what the heck am i suppose to do without my mom for thanksgiving?! so i will be doing the whole holiday thing with my dad and sis (who will be do the cooking). honestly, it's going to be a little awk (thanks diana) for several reasons so if i can just get through the dinner everything will be okay.

happy thanksgiving!

september 2011

oprah is announcing tomorrow that september 9, 2011 her long standing talk show will come to end!



that means i have two years to write a cohesive and life changing body of work that can be featured on her show.....

i want your bad romance

sorry for the absence, it was, however, deliberate. as the old folks would say, i've been going through. i'm back because i've finally been able to calm my mind and my spirit. so, let's get to it!

work is a nightmare! an actual nightmare. i actually wrote a post describing the horror, but meh....why waste my energy?!

in other news, i turned in my final/ end of semester project for school and quite honestly, i think it's a masterpiece. even though i've already turned it in i can't stop reading my own work. i think it's that good. i think i'm feeling myself too much! i haven't even gotten any feedback on it yet, so these statements may change in the next week.

has anyone heard the new lady gaga "bad romance?" omg! i think she sold herself to the devil (illuminati-google it) and sprinkled a little crack on that song. i can't stop playing it! bananas! normally, i try not to associate myself with trendy poppy music, but she really is talented. sometimes i just watch youtube videos of her playing the piano because she's that good. whenever i'm feeling too lazy to practice i think of her playing "paparazzi" on the keyboard and i snap out of lazy with a quickness.

busy busy girl

work has been pretty crazy and i'll explain all that later. this weekend the recruitment event i planned is going down, but even before all that my college homecoming comes first!



so before the stress of the weekend hits i'm going to have a little fun with some old friends, chill at the game, and hit up the stepshow.

have a safe weekend!

travel diary 3

i'm having a thai food obsession.



when i'm out on the road i make sure to google thai restaurants and i frequent that restaurant until i go on to another city.

i especially love pad thai. actually, that's all i ever order. i feel as if i'm a food critic. so, since i am kind of a pad thai aficionado i wanted to share my best and worst thai restaurant picks.

best:

lemongrass in macon, georgia

the pad thai comes with sauteed tofu which is so tasty. the lunch prices are great and the decor of the restaurant reads young urban professional. the pad thai has a very clean and healthy look.

runner up:

chiriyas in savannah, georgia

what makes the entree so appealing is that every plate comes with a fresh rose on the side. the decor is 100% asian. i love it!

mediocre:

emerald thai in birmingham, al

the ambiance for this restaurant was great, but the price not so much. the pad thai was awesome, but too expensive and little. for $17 i would have liked a little more on my plate.

lek's railroad thai in montgomery, al

just alright

worst:

coconut asian bistro in tifton, georgia

the pad thai was awful. no flavor no jazz just blah. i kinda wanted my money back. but i did order a tiramisu and it was FABULOUS! i then went back again and ordered a coconut soup and spring rolls which was a bit better.

my next experience with pad thai will probably occur in a few days when i journey to SEATTLE, so i will be sure to let you all know how that goes.

travel diary 2

valdosta waycross douglas tifton

over the years, while sitting behind a table at college fairs, i've made several observations about the high school students i've seen and frankly, if these are our future leaders i pray not to live to old age. below is the most random things i've seen and encountered.

1. why do so many high schools students have massive visible tattoos? do parents actually go with their children to a tattoo shop and sign a consent that allows their 16 year olds to receive tattoos? or do kids go out on their 18th birthday and get every tattoo they've ever wanted in one day?

2. has no one ever told a child that if you decide to take a tech prep program in high school that you've pretty much decided that you don't want to go to college?

3. why do the dumbest kids want to be doctors? why do the most unfashionable kids want to major in fashion?

4. student: do y'all have a medical school?
me: no, but we have biology and a pre medical program.
student: oh, I don't want to have to transfer schools. i just want to go to medical school
do you really think you're just going to graduate high school and be allowed to go straight into medical school?!

ultimately, this job has made me fear having children because i'm so afraid of their teenage years.

annual fund

Every year, the Annual Fund continues
to be the way that the College
“closes the gap” between its
expenses and its tuition and
endowment incomes. No aspect of
the College is left untouched
by Annual Fund support.
These dollars are spent in
the same year they are received –
making each year’s need for renewed
support even more vital. Annual
Fund gifts keep our electricity,
water, maintenance, health care,
counseling, and instruction
available for all students.
Annual Fund contributions,
in part, pay our faculty
and staff salaries as well.




as with any college or non-profit organization, my job tries to receive cash donations through the annual fund. everyone is solicited for money, and every year i politely decline. not for any particular or disgruntled reason, i just prefer not to, for some reason i have to pay bills with the little amount of amount i receive in my paycheck.

so this year VP is on this kick that our office needs to have 100% participation. in my opinion it's because he wants the rest of the campus offices to see how much we participate and love each other (gag). numerous emails were sent out in an effort to receive any charitable donations. "Every little bit helps, even 5 dollars." again, i declined. the deadline past. but, in an effort to get that 100% participation it was extended. again, i declined. you would think that one would perhaps think to themself that maybe i didn't want to participate. yet, today, while driving the extremely dreadful streets of willacoochie, georgia i receive a call from my boss. let me paraphrase this conversation:

VP: "this is embarrassing, but i noticed that you didn't donate to the annual fund. i know times are hard. i will be willing to make a contribution on your behalf. in fact, ******** let me know that she couldn't afford it so i made a contribution on her behalf. there's a luncheon for the office that has 100% participation today."

me: "fine, i'll donate $10"

VP: "okay, well i'll go to the business office and pay it for you and you can buy me lunch later."

no words

travel diary

I’m all alone in this world, she said,
Ain’t got nobody to share my bed,
Ain’t got nobody to hold my hand—
The truth of the matter’s
I ain’t got no man.

Big Boy opened his mouth and said,
Trouble with you is
You ain’t got no head!
If you had a head and used your mind
You could have me with you
All the time.

She answered, Babe, what must I do?

He said, Share your bed—
And your money, too.


One of the best and worst parts of travel for me is being alone. generally, I love being alone,
thrive on it,and
dwell in it
but this week was beyond being alone, i'm just lonely; crying in my car lonely; and left wondering why i don't have the kind of camaraderie the other counselors on the road have.

speaking of travel, i'm in savannah, trying not to spend a dime. i have seattle coming up in 18 days (dang, need to buy the ticket) and i would prefer to spend there.

anyway, the poem above is "50-50" by Langston Hughes (my love). this is the first poem i memorized.this is the first poem where i realized that poems didn't have to rhyme or imitate Robert Frost.

the tell all

yesterday i sped home from Montgomery to catch the day's episode of oprah. mckenzie phillips was the guest du jour disclosing ALL of her business: her incestous relationship with her pappi! ick. nast! she actually told ALL of the americas and ALL countries in several languages of the world that she willingly sexed her daddy for 10 years. while watching, the only thing I could think was why? not why she slept with her dad, i wouldn't dare delve into that hot mess. but why tell everyone? why set yourself as an easier target for judgement? why let a family secret out of the bag? why not just talk it up to a psychiarist? why do we (celebs esp.) feel the need to disclose our deepest and darkest secrets?



honestly, i can't relate. i'm a big secret keeper. i'm already a super private person so its easy for me not to reveal aspects of my life, even the mundane aspects.

so what makes celebs, or even us average people, confess to secrets that could have remained a secret otherwise?

i suppose the sense of relief is the reason. forgiveness....self forgiveness, can also be a factor. but what do these confessions of past transgessions do for the person, or people, you actually tell it to besides create truly awkward future encounters?

birmingham montgomery

i'm in my 3rd(?) week of travel and i'm exhausted. it's only the third week! this week is my alabama week. i started in birmingham on sunday (yes, sunday) then drove down to montgomery.i think i'm going to add birmingham to my list of cities i love(i mean it has whole foods, sephora, AND great shopping). why did i think it would extra aggressive with the backwards country behavior. i really need to stop pre-judging situations. birmingham is actually a better city than the one i am currently residing in...hmmmm.

mmmmm

doesn't this look so good?!

one thing i love about travel is the food. specifically, finding unique eateries (not franchises...no shade to chilli's).

i found this awesome crepe restaurant called crepes and more in parrish, florida. the picture above is an apple crepe with baked cinnamon apples, nutella, and raspberry sauce and whipped cream on top.

i'm making myself sooooo hungry!

i'm back from vegas and in tampa (for work). here are some vegas pix...hope you enjoy!

dreams

i'm not much of a dreamer.

but lately i've been having really vividly awesome dreams.

last night i dreamt i was casting the devil out of someone....i guess like an exorcism.

the other night i had a dream that i received a letter from this place i interviewed at a long time ago. in the dream, the letter stated that the company saw a lot of potential in me and they wanted to help me get off to a good start in my career. they also wanted me to work there and i had to start at the new position very very soon. such a mean dream.

what does all this mean?

in other news, i've ordered bangs...clip in bangs to be exact. i want a new look for fall and don't want to cut bangs (i get tired of them about 2.2 seconds after i get it cut), but shhhhh it's a secret!

words i hate

so i received critiques on my first collection of poetry and honestly, it wasn't that bad. i was expecting to be torn apart, but i wasn't. i'm so excited and already can't wait to continue work!

being a writer and english major i've come to hate the word juxtaposition. it makes me cringe. whenever i'm in a group of writers/ english majors/ faux philopshers that word comes up about 601 times. i only mention this because as i was anticipating some of the comments about my work i was guessing what each person in my group would say, you know, their trademark comment. without fail, the one guy i pegged for saying "juxtaposition" wrote that word in his critique.ugh!

other words i hate:

literally (it's so misused among my generation)
moist
recession
phrase-in this economy
deposit (a job thing)

what are some words that you hate?

what i'm loving right now

i'm really loving chrisette michelle right now!


(i wished i looked like this everyday!)

and maxwell!



here's my fave song from his black summer night....enjoy

Bad Habits - Maxwell

he's going to be in atlanta on october 5th at phillips....would love to go :)

another travel season

september is quickly approaching and you all know what that means......
admissions. travel. season.

admittedly, i'm not excited about it nor did i see myself gearing up for another(4th) year of travel.

sigh.

but it is what it is.

this summer has actually been a bit busy for me and i've barely had time to just sit and think. now that i think about it....i haven't even taken a vacation....

yet!



vegas!!!


i mentioned in a post a loooooong time ago that me and my sis were planning a trip there (at her insistence) to celebrate her college graduation. vegas is totally happening in 2 weeks (bought the plane tickets earlier this week). a bit late, but nonetheless i will be shaking my ass in vegas for labor day weekend so i guess i will have a little bit of fun before the reality of my job surfaces.

i'm back....if only for a moment

whew! i turned in my first poetry submission. i'm glad that's over...well, if only for a little while. this week we receive critiques from our workshop members....i'm so nervous! then we will receive criqitues from our instructor....ugh!!! and then we do it all again next month.

i will be a bit absent until august 15th. the date of my first poetry submission is looming so i want to focus what's left of my energy and creativity to this project.

pillow talk

does anyone have the kid cudi downloaded?

i am such a fan all the sudden.

i loved his song "day and nite" but i've actually taken the time to listen to the whole cd and i'm highly impressed! reviews on the internet are kinda mixed, but my opinion stands.



here's one of my favorites "pillow talk"

Pillow Talk - KiD CuDi

new project

so i've been trying to keep my attitude in check for about a week now and guess what? i like it!

i feel good and my insides feel clean.

i've been totally inspired by my friend KJ who is restoring some old chairs. my parents gave me this old green dirty ottoman/ bench type thing that has been taking up space in my room. when they gave it to me i knew exactly what i wanted to do with it - upholster the fabric into something cute, but i never gave it the time. so since i am on this home decor and decorating kick i feel as if i now have the motivation to do it!

i have no idea what color i want to do, but i will keep you updated once i get started.

go hard or go home

i'm an all or nothing type of girl. i'm always at one extreme or another. i never quite find a balance. wither i'm unnecessarily mean or overly friendly; verbose or quiet, wild or prudish (i'm a prude right now); on or off; hot or cold...you get what i'm saying? this approach to life is great for dieting (my willpower is ah-mazing), but horrible for my sanity! regardless of my goal or expectations i find myself feeling like a failure because if i don't go hard it's hard for me to feel accomplished. while i enjoy writing, i've always struggled with it because i want my poems to be nearly perfect on the first draft. if my workout is anything less than an hour of nonstop movement it doesn't count for me. and don't even get me started on my piano playing!

choose your attitude

i woke up this morning and decided to be positive. i'm kinda borrowing this new state of mind from KJ.

lately, i have been in a funk....let's say a 6 month funk and i'm sick of it. i'm moody, grumpy, and disenchanted and everyone knows it. i am not where i believe i should be for my age and qualifications, but being disgruntled about it won't make the situation change....so i'm going to try a new approach.



anyway, this past weekend was pretty decent. i had a friend (my old college roommate) visit me and her presence made me realize something about myself....i get annoyed easily. i'm not sure if it's part of this funk i'm in, but i really couldn't wait for her to leave. i feel bad because i don't have a lot of friends and she took the time to visit me, but needless to say....i enjoy my alone time.

stressed? who me? no. well, maybe just a bit

i'm trying to blog everyday

as a way to vent. it's that time of the year at work known as crunch time so i suppose the stress is high. it's funny though. even though we are working hard to get our numbers up i'm not particularly stressed,

irritated, yes!

well, i suppose i am carrying some stress. i have been eating EVERYTHING in sight. and my workouts don't happen. this is not like me at all. i actually didn't notice until i pulled out a pair of black pants from my closet and the darn pants had the audicity to be tight. and the thing is that i don't care. i'll still be cute with extra love handles and belly rolls, right? just kidding! hopefully, within the next few weeks i can regulate and balance all that is askew in my life right now.

sigh.

i'm obsessed

lately i've been obsessed with home design and interior renovation. instead of the garbage reality shows and sitcoms i usually watch my telly stays tuned into hgtv and the fine living network. i even spend the day searching interior design websites. you know what this means....time to move!

here is some of the decor looks i've found. i'm inspired!





also, i've been doing a horrible job at crediting the sites where i get the pictures from. i'm was an english major so i know the type of hell waiting for me for not citing the pictures correctly....but you all know these aren't my pix. maybe when i'm bored i will go back and add the correct sites to the pix i have borrowed. to start off, these pictures were found at this amazing interior design site called http://www.interiordesignideas.net/

to follow-up from the previous post

a friend of mine from memphis, who i've known since 7th grade, just recently moved to georgia. she is among the list of friends who didn't make the cut at the beginning of the year. specifically, she's the one whose lifestyle is less than desirable. anyway, she moved to georgia recently and obviously wants to see me because for her i am still her best friend. so she's been calling
and calling
and calling
trying to catch up with me.
i finally listened to one of her voicemails and it was just
sad
i'm a bad person. who am i to blast someone else's life? but on the flip side, i honestly have no desire to be in contact with her.
sad
aren't friends suppose to lift you up, inspire you? why can't i be that for her?
aren't friends suppose to be a reflection of yourself and ultimately who you want to be? why can't she be that for me?
i've grown so much since the last time we lived within walking distance of each other, but she hasn't...i dunno

'cause we're best friends, right?

since the year started i have downsized the number of people i consider my friends. i'm relentless.
i've been cutting folks left and right for minor offenses. if you make me feel bad, you're gone; if your lifestyle differs from mine, you're outta here; if you're messy, buh-bye; if you don't listen, you're dunzo.

now i don't have anyone to hang out with. no one to call.

so i'm wondering if i should sacrifice my sanity and nerves just to have someone to talk to?

perhaps,find replacements?

how do you even go about getting new friends at this age? my co-workers are not an option. church maybe? the salespeople at my fave stores? my parents? dunno.

perhaps i can use this time to focus on myse....naw, that sounds lame.

here's a song by amy winehouse called "best friends"...apparently she's had the same problem with her best friends.

Best Friend - Amy Winehouse

meatloaf at 10am

it's only 10am and i'm eating my lunch. VP asked me about deposits before i could even make my coffee...today is not starting off too well.

fyi

i just spent an hour changing the template and look of this blog only to return to the orginal format.

i even added labels to every post i had.

i have over 100 posts too!

is this really my job?

though i just came off of a 3 day july 4th weekend i do not feel rested at all. i'm a walking disater....not getting enough sleep, anxious, unfocused, and generally a miserably stressed girl. so in an effort to recharge and refuel my drained body and mind i have requested 2 days off...this friday and monday to be exact....hoping to come back as a new woman!

well, i submitted my request to VP and he replied back that it was fine as long as i check my email during my hiatus? not a joke.

seriously?

a similar incident happened during a hiatus in may when i was in charlotte getting my learning on. director (before she got canned) called me a good 3 times while i was on vacation. seriously? has the definition of personal time changed and i was unaware?

is this really my job?

a bit of a change around these parts

i have to turn in my first poetry submission next month on the 15th and right now i have nothing. i've been writing, but haven't been crafting anything into poetry and that's the most difficult part.

something about the summer makes me want to be lazy....it's the heat i think.

anyway, i have a ton of things going on this week...most of which i cannot discuss here until it's fruition....so my posting will be a bit spotty, but i will return with a vengeance sometime next week.

back to the grind

since being back from charlotte i have been so sluggish; mostly not wanting to do any work. i'm so focused on reading and writing and looking up poetry online. the residency really changed my focus.

before the mfa began i never really thought about taking it further. i simply wanted to become a better writer for myself, but now that i am seeing the possibilities (and now that i am really starting to get burned out at my job)i am seeing that i want to do more with it.

though i am just a semester into the mfa i already see myself publishing a collection of poetry and possibly teaching writing...dunno.

but i know this whole admissions thing is not cutting it anymore. the whole work dynamic has changed. i thought the environment with our old VP was bad, but this new set-up is for the birds!

but anyway, getting back to the old work grind has been difficult to say the least.

i've always been a fan of Sia, but i've been sleeping on her latest album until now. check out this sonng!

Soon Well Be Found - Sia