pillow talk

does anyone have the kid cudi downloaded?

i am such a fan all the sudden.

i loved his song "day and nite" but i've actually taken the time to listen to the whole cd and i'm highly impressed! reviews on the internet are kinda mixed, but my opinion stands.



here's one of my favorites "pillow talk"

Pillow Talk - KiD CuDi

new project

so i've been trying to keep my attitude in check for about a week now and guess what? i like it!

i feel good and my insides feel clean.

i've been totally inspired by my friend KJ who is restoring some old chairs. my parents gave me this old green dirty ottoman/ bench type thing that has been taking up space in my room. when they gave it to me i knew exactly what i wanted to do with it - upholster the fabric into something cute, but i never gave it the time. so since i am on this home decor and decorating kick i feel as if i now have the motivation to do it!

i have no idea what color i want to do, but i will keep you updated once i get started.

go hard or go home

i'm an all or nothing type of girl. i'm always at one extreme or another. i never quite find a balance. wither i'm unnecessarily mean or overly friendly; verbose or quiet, wild or prudish (i'm a prude right now); on or off; hot or cold...you get what i'm saying? this approach to life is great for dieting (my willpower is ah-mazing), but horrible for my sanity! regardless of my goal or expectations i find myself feeling like a failure because if i don't go hard it's hard for me to feel accomplished. while i enjoy writing, i've always struggled with it because i want my poems to be nearly perfect on the first draft. if my workout is anything less than an hour of nonstop movement it doesn't count for me. and don't even get me started on my piano playing!

choose your attitude

i woke up this morning and decided to be positive. i'm kinda borrowing this new state of mind from KJ.

lately, i have been in a funk....let's say a 6 month funk and i'm sick of it. i'm moody, grumpy, and disenchanted and everyone knows it. i am not where i believe i should be for my age and qualifications, but being disgruntled about it won't make the situation change....so i'm going to try a new approach.



anyway, this past weekend was pretty decent. i had a friend (my old college roommate) visit me and her presence made me realize something about myself....i get annoyed easily. i'm not sure if it's part of this funk i'm in, but i really couldn't wait for her to leave. i feel bad because i don't have a lot of friends and she took the time to visit me, but needless to say....i enjoy my alone time.

stressed? who me? no. well, maybe just a bit

i'm trying to blog everyday

as a way to vent. it's that time of the year at work known as crunch time so i suppose the stress is high. it's funny though. even though we are working hard to get our numbers up i'm not particularly stressed,

irritated, yes!

well, i suppose i am carrying some stress. i have been eating EVERYTHING in sight. and my workouts don't happen. this is not like me at all. i actually didn't notice until i pulled out a pair of black pants from my closet and the darn pants had the audicity to be tight. and the thing is that i don't care. i'll still be cute with extra love handles and belly rolls, right? just kidding! hopefully, within the next few weeks i can regulate and balance all that is askew in my life right now.

sigh.

i'm obsessed

lately i've been obsessed with home design and interior renovation. instead of the garbage reality shows and sitcoms i usually watch my telly stays tuned into hgtv and the fine living network. i even spend the day searching interior design websites. you know what this means....time to move!

here is some of the decor looks i've found. i'm inspired!





also, i've been doing a horrible job at crediting the sites where i get the pictures from. i'm was an english major so i know the type of hell waiting for me for not citing the pictures correctly....but you all know these aren't my pix. maybe when i'm bored i will go back and add the correct sites to the pix i have borrowed. to start off, these pictures were found at this amazing interior design site called http://www.interiordesignideas.net/

to follow-up from the previous post

a friend of mine from memphis, who i've known since 7th grade, just recently moved to georgia. she is among the list of friends who didn't make the cut at the beginning of the year. specifically, she's the one whose lifestyle is less than desirable. anyway, she moved to georgia recently and obviously wants to see me because for her i am still her best friend. so she's been calling
and calling
and calling
trying to catch up with me.
i finally listened to one of her voicemails and it was just
sad
i'm a bad person. who am i to blast someone else's life? but on the flip side, i honestly have no desire to be in contact with her.
sad
aren't friends suppose to lift you up, inspire you? why can't i be that for her?
aren't friends suppose to be a reflection of yourself and ultimately who you want to be? why can't she be that for me?
i've grown so much since the last time we lived within walking distance of each other, but she hasn't...i dunno

'cause we're best friends, right?

since the year started i have downsized the number of people i consider my friends. i'm relentless.
i've been cutting folks left and right for minor offenses. if you make me feel bad, you're gone; if your lifestyle differs from mine, you're outta here; if you're messy, buh-bye; if you don't listen, you're dunzo.

now i don't have anyone to hang out with. no one to call.

so i'm wondering if i should sacrifice my sanity and nerves just to have someone to talk to?

perhaps,find replacements?

how do you even go about getting new friends at this age? my co-workers are not an option. church maybe? the salespeople at my fave stores? my parents? dunno.

perhaps i can use this time to focus on myse....naw, that sounds lame.

here's a song by amy winehouse called "best friends"...apparently she's had the same problem with her best friends.

Best Friend - Amy Winehouse

meatloaf at 10am

it's only 10am and i'm eating my lunch. VP asked me about deposits before i could even make my coffee...today is not starting off too well.

fyi

i just spent an hour changing the template and look of this blog only to return to the orginal format.

i even added labels to every post i had.

i have over 100 posts too!

is this really my job?

though i just came off of a 3 day july 4th weekend i do not feel rested at all. i'm a walking disater....not getting enough sleep, anxious, unfocused, and generally a miserably stressed girl. so in an effort to recharge and refuel my drained body and mind i have requested 2 days off...this friday and monday to be exact....hoping to come back as a new woman!

well, i submitted my request to VP and he replied back that it was fine as long as i check my email during my hiatus? not a joke.

seriously?

a similar incident happened during a hiatus in may when i was in charlotte getting my learning on. director (before she got canned) called me a good 3 times while i was on vacation. seriously? has the definition of personal time changed and i was unaware?

is this really my job?

a bit of a change around these parts

i have to turn in my first poetry submission next month on the 15th and right now i have nothing. i've been writing, but haven't been crafting anything into poetry and that's the most difficult part.

something about the summer makes me want to be lazy....it's the heat i think.

anyway, i have a ton of things going on this week...most of which i cannot discuss here until it's fruition....so my posting will be a bit spotty, but i will return with a vengeance sometime next week.